Have you ever had one of those awkward moments where you run into an old acquaintance, and they’re there, chatting, but you can’t for the life of you remember their name?
They continue their monologue, while you nod politely, running through every name under the sun, desperately trying to come up with the right greeting for this unforgettable face. “John? James? Jeff? Anne Marie? … Anne Marie?”
With no viable alternatives, and your pride at stake, there is only one option left. “Yeah, nice to see you too, man.” Other options include ‘partner, friend, buddy, bro, or frendlino’.
Unfortunately for those in the public eye, this foolproof escape plan isn’t possible. And when they get it wrong, it’s often brilliant. So, to reminisce about the classic hollers of the sport’s coaches – and now politicians – 90 Minutes takes a look at some of the footballers who have had the misfortune of acquiring an unwanted extra name.
Let’s start with the sound of Wednesday, shall we? Marcus Rashford has single-handedly ensured that millions of hungry children will be fed over the summer months, and has firmly established himself as a very good egg – possibly football. The best egg.
Good to see @MattHancock finally giving credit to footballers and Daniel Rashford in particular pic.twitter.com/b3lcqsTcP7
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 17, 2020
And thankfully he gets it? That’s right – being called ‘Daniel’ on live television by one of the most important figures in the British government. Clearly, football is not Matt Hancock’s area of expertise, but as one of the most criticized men in recent months, this was an easy opportunity to score some points.
Unfortunately, he has him behind his net.
Rashford is not the first Man Utd star to receive this treatment. Unfortunately for Chris Smalling, his own manager, Louis van Gaal, got his name wrong – while sitting next to him. When the Dutch coach was building the towering center back as the Red Devils’ third-choice captain, he pointed in his direction and labeled him ‘Mr Mike Smalling’.
Cue confused looks and stifled giggles in the press room. Although Van Gaal’s tenure as United coach is remembered for tough and gritty football, his performances on the touchline and in press conferences have confirmed his status as a proper legend.
Time for another Van Gaal special. It’s probably a bit more forgivable though. Once upon a time, Will Keaneman was a Utd prodigy. The young striker was destined for great things, but sadly his Old Trafford career never took off.
And discussing the youngster’s future, Van Gaal said, “Now Michael Keane has to do it for himself.” A classic mix-up. In favor of Louis, Will is actually the twin brother of Everton star Michael. Easy to make a mistake.
A classic one-two here. In fairness, former Newcastle United boss Joe Kinnear is going to have a lot to offer here, so we had to double down on the pair to narrow down his long list. After being appointed as the Magpies’ director of football in 2013, Kinnear shocked everyone at the club in his first interview.
And speaking to TalkSport, Newcastle Chiefs managed to get a number of their star names wrong. In this particular clip, French midfielder Yohan Kebaye is embarrassingly crowned ‘Yohan Kebab’, while striker Hatem Ben Arfa becomes ‘Ben Afra’. Debt
This was not the only mistake in the interview either. Kinnear later spoke about the players who had been part of the Newcastle team in 2008, fondly recalling the brilliant shot-stopper Tim Krul. So far so good, Joe.
He then made an honorable mention of the Amebi brothers, Shola and Sammy, but in typical Kanar fashion, it came across as more of an insult, calling the forward ‘Shola Imamobi’. So close, Joe.
But alas, here we have possibly the biggest pronunciation error of Koch’s career. Before becoming director of football at Newcastle, Kinnear was appointed as the club’s manager in 2008, hoping to save them from relegation.
Newcastle United’s Frenchman Charles N Zogbe/Graham Stewart/Getty Images
One person who was not part of his plans, however, was Charles N. Zogbia. The winger went on strike, determined to leave St James’ Park, and Kinnear taunted him in his post-match press conference before calling him ‘Charles Insomnia’.
I wonder if Kinnear didn’t get any sleep that night? Badm, TSS.
There must be something in the water on Tyneside. Fortunately, when a legend like Sir Bobby Robson drops the ball, we can all get behind him. And the legendary manager once matched his name with that of former England captain Brian Robson.
Robsons/Ben Redford/Getty Images
Upon greeting Starr, Bobby said, “Good morning Bobby,” to which Brian replied “I’m Brian, you’re Bobby!” What a wonderful man.
While pronunciation can be difficult for many of us, spelling can be an equally tough test for others. And so, we leave you with a list of honorable mentions for players whose names proved a step too far for the kit printers.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic celebrates scoring for LA Galaxy despite his name being misspelled as “Irbahimovic” on his jersey. #MLS #LAGalaxy pic.twitter.com/HPfEuBrh0Q
— TREQUARTISTA (@A55KIKR) July 5, 2019
On this day: In 1997, David Beckham wore a shirt with his name misspelled in the Charity Shield v Chelsea game. pic.twitter.com/RXS2MKrw77
— MUFC Data (@MUFCDATA) August 3, 2018
Anderson is so stupid he didn’t even notice they got his name wrong on his shirt #MUFC #EFC >> pic.twitter.com/DNrwYsKI
— Jimmy Corkhill (@MrJimmyCorkhill) August 20, 2012
pic.twitter.com/jcKJq3ZciA
— Stefan Radovici (@monsieuradovici) August 14, 2019
West Ham were embarrassed yesterday as they gave Arnoutovic the wrong shirt… Arnoutovic ?#stokecity #SCFC ?⚪️ pic.twitter.com/jn2u0TaIB6
– Rob Davenport? (@robertd4venport) December 27, 2017