It’s Pele’s 80th birthday. So what better way to celebrate than with his collection of weird and wonderful tweets?
Let’s jump right in.
The one where the goalkeeper cried
Once in a match in Senegal the goalkeeper cried so much after I scored that he had to be substituted! He had lost a big bet! ?// In a game in Senegal, I read that the goalkeeper stole so much after scoring a goal that he had to be replaced. He lost a big bet! ? pic.twitter.com/OXjeg8ApIj
— Pele (@Pele) February 25, 2019
Here, the Senegalese keeper faced some minor allegations of match-fixing. No big deal.
In fairness, he’s probably not the only opponent Pele has taken to tears over the years.
‘The referee recuses himself’
I was once sent off in a game against Colombia. The decision was so unpopular with the crowd that the referee then dismissed himself! // Once I played against Colombia and the referee sent me off. This decision was so unpopular with a pervert that he too had to leave the field! pic.twitter.com/KaR5CyDZfJ
— Pelé (@Pele) August 23, 2018
One of the all time greats. How does self-examination even work?
Raising John Lennon
Today would have been my friend John Lennon’s birthday. We met in New York and I taught him everything he knew about the guitar…? // Today would be my friend John Lennon’s birthday. We met in New York and taught Eli Todo on guitar…? pic.twitter.com/FS4mpQXHWh
— Pelé (@Pele) October 9, 2018
Who can forget his legendary happy birthday tweet to John Lennon… captioned with a photo with no sign of John Lennon.
Only Paley plays guitar better than John Lennon.
Vaguely threatening Kylian Mbappé
Fun fact: Cristiano Ronaldo, Mohamed Salah and Kylian Mbappe are the three people Pele has tweeted the most in his eight years on Twitter. He likes to keep an eye on the competition.
If Kylan keeps matching my records like this, I may have to take my shoes off again… ://t.co/GYWfMxPn7p
— Pele (@Pele) July 15, 2018
Here he is threatening to take off his boots if Mbappé keeps gunning for him. Just keep adding friendly targets to the record until he gives up and stops trying.
Raising Elton John
Happy Birthday to Sir Elton John. I went to see him live once. He beckoned me and I had to leave before the crowd got too big! // Happy birthday, @EltonOfficial. When I went to his show, and he arranged for me, I had to leave before the crowd got too big. pic.twitter.com/tIN9SZ461f
— Pele (@Pele) March 25, 2019
Pleasant healthy image: ✓
Outright lies: ✓
Mass unnecessary flak on someone else’s birthday: ✓
The Pelé Twitter Bingo is complete.
Stepping up to Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano, good luck for your first game with @juventusfc . In ’61, the owner of Fiat offered to buy me but only these stripes for Pelé! / Good luck, @Cristiano, not my first game at Juventus. In 61, the Fiat lady tried to take me, but it’s just lists for Pele! pic.twitter.com/W81OPW5RyM
— Pelé (@Pele) August 18, 2018
These are the only stripes for the yellow.
Maradona’s Silent Night
happy Birthday my friend. You may be having a quiet night in with a good book but I hope you find time to celebrate a little too! / Happy birthday, Diego. I know you’ll have a quiet night reading a book, but I hope you make a little memory too! pic.twitter.com/aUfJwvPh6M
— Pelé (@Pele) October 30, 2018
…hard to tell if he’s kidding here.
May the force be with you.
Hey @HamillHimself. Happy @StarWarsDay! May the 4th be with you! #StarWarsDay pic.twitter.com/likqGLGEpB
— Pele (@Pele) May 4, 2018
How long before Pale announces that he is actually the one who gave birth to Luke Skywalker?
This is the most random thing since @HamillHimself announced his support for Airdrieonians.
‘The sky was crying’
During my last professional game, today in 1977, it started to rain. A Brazilian newspaper said that even the sky was crying. I knew how it felt. // During my last professional game, in 1977, I played a lot. A journalist said that I was crying. I was there too. pic.twitter.com/Mgm43ZrJrp
— Pelé (@Pele) October 1, 2018
October 1, 1977 was the day the sky wept.
I mean, it doesn’t seem likely… but so are over 1,000 career goals.
Look, the guy is 80. Let’s just let him say what he wants and smile with him.